


Beloved With Freckles

by Synergy_Sync



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Depression, Eventual Smut, Fluff, M/M, Minor Character Death, Panic Attacks, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-03 21:15:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16333607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synergy_Sync/pseuds/Synergy_Sync
Summary: ((Title subject to change))Modern AU: Hamilton and Laurens knew each other from a young age and were always close. You could even say in love. But feelings go unsaid and time pulls them apart. Years later John has moved back to his hometown on Alex’s doorstep with a little boy, apparently his son named Phillip. John begs for his help, just a place to stay for few nights. Hamilton could never turn down his best friend. Time passes, old feelings resurface and one morning after a drunken night, John finds himself in Alexander’s bed and a sore lower half. What will these two do with this new development? How will little Phillip handle it?





	. Prologue

_He sat at the edge of the cliff overlooking the small town he called home. The sunset was breath taking as it set behind the buildings, casting warm rays of reds and oranges that faded into blues and violets. A gentle wind caressed his dark curly locks and brushed them from his freckled cheeks John took a deep breath and closed his baby blues, enjoying the quiet that fell over this small piece of paradise. He never wanted to leave, this was all the life he knew.  
_

_“I thought I might find you up here.” Someone spoke behind him. “I looked all around town like usual, but this is always the last place I look.” John smiled knowingly and didn’t bother to turn around. He knew who the person was.  
_

_“Well if you knew, then why look anywhere else? You know this is the only place I come to lately. You could have saved time and enjoyed more time in my company, Alex.” John chuckled in response. The figure took a seat to his right and looked at him for a moment. They gave a scoff, but the grin was clearly present on their face.  
_

_“Like your ego needs to be any more inflated. You got a big head as it is.” John whipped his head around with a mocking look of anger. “How rude, I do not have a large head. It is proportionate to the rest of me.” Both laughed at one another before settling into a comfortable silence. The sun had disappeared, giving way to clusters of stars that dotted the sky for miles to see._  
[I] Alexander gave a pleasant sigh that was accompanied with a smile. “Can you believe we graduate in a couple weeks? Where has this year gone?” John leaned his head on the other’s shoulder and shrugged. “It’s normal if you think about it, senior year goes by the fastest because everyone is too busy with what they want the future to hold. Me, I’m happy right here where I am; hanging out with you, Laf, and Herc is all I want.”

_Alex looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. All he could want? What about college, a future with a loving wife and children? That last thought made his heart ache. Who was he kidding, he didn’t want John to get married, he wanted him to stay right here with him for the rest of their days. He wanted to be the one to marry the freckled brunette, to wake up to that tanned skin bathed in sunlight every morning and watch him as he opened those blue gems. He wanted to consume all his time, his thoughts, his attention. He wanted to be everything John could ever want. But ho was he kidding? He didn’t even know if John felt the same, least of all if he was gay.  
_

_"Well things won’t always be that way John, Laf and Herc are already planning on moving half way across the state to attend college together. And I don’t know what to do yet. But we can always find time to hang out, right?” Alex asked hopeful to see his friend smile. But all he got was silence. He looked at John who refused to meet his gaze. “John, what’s wrong?”  
_

_Another silenced followed before he answered, “I’m moving across the country Alex, to live with one of my cousins. I have no family here and they said there are plenty of opportunities out there.” He said in a quiet voice. “I leave in a few days.”  
_

_Alex felt his heart shatter. His best friend, the one he was desperately in love with, was leaving. He wanted to shout; he wanted to push him against the ground, telling him he wasn’t leaving and kiss him until they were out of breath and John agreed to never think of leaving him behind. But he didn’t. Instead, he dawned a fake smile and patted him on the back. “That’s great news! You can go out there and make it big. Don’t forget to write and come visit us small town folk. In a couple years your name will be written in every newspaper.”  
_

_John sat there quiet, staring at his friend. His gaze was cold, eyebrows furrowed and tears perking at the corner of his eyes. He didn’t say a word. He simply stood up and walked away. Alex just watched him walk away, figuring he was just upset that alex didn’t say anymore and would confront him about it tomorrow. But he was wrong.  
_

_Days passed and the older teen grew worried about his freckled friend. He decided to swing by his house and his heart dropped. The lively little home that used to be John’s, now sat empty with a ‘SOLD’ sign picketed in the front yard. He was too late, he was gone and Alex never even got to say goodbye. He felt broken, empty; something was missing from his life.  
_

_Maybe John just needed sometime to calm down and settle in. He waited patiently for a letter or a text message to arrive, but still nothing. The days turned to weeks, graduation passed in a blur and now he knew he screwed up. His John was gone, and he was left empty._

 

Chocolate brown eyes blinked away the sleep and tears from the night. Dark hair in a knotted mess from the sleepless rest. Everything was still in the house, quiet. But his thoughts were buzzing away, processing what his dream was and news tears sprung to his eyes. Oh, if only he knew then what he knows now then it wouldn’t be this way. He wouldn’t be waking up in the cold bed alone, he wouldn’t be having the nightmares that plagued him. He wouldn’t be the depressed shell of a man that he sees in the mirror. He would have a reason to wake up each morning, to smile. But none of that matter without him. None of it matter without his love, his sunshine.  
With those thoughts, he turned the opposite way and let the darkness consume him again, only one word on his lips as he slipped back,

_“John…"_


	2. Chapter 1

_A head of disheveled chocolate locks splayed over a youthful face and the child’s arms. He was exhausted, weak still from the sickness yet taken care of his mother still. He had recovered, albeit just barely. His mother had yet to be so lucky; still bed ridden after nearly two weeks with no signs of improvement. The doctors had quit coming, fearful they would contract the disease and spread it to others. It wasn’t fair in his mind. Why should everyone else get treatment but they let his mother suffer this way, in all this pain? I just wasn’t fair to her, to him. He hated them, hated them for doing this. Leaving this poor woman to suffer as she struggled for every breath she took._

_“A-Alexander…” a raspy voice called barely above a whisper. Dark eyes snapped opened to look at the pale woman. He stood up and moved to the other side of the bed and took her bony hand in his. Illness has taken what was once a beautiful young woman and reduced to her to nothing but a skeleton draped with an olive toned sheet. Her eyes were sunken in, every bone notch visible. He knew she didn’t have much longer, she was barely holding on as it was. Nonetheless she still smiled at him, squeezing his hand as best she could. He barely felt it at all._

_“What is it, mother?” Alexander asked, already knowing what was coming but desperately hoping he didn’t have to hear her say it. His heart could only take so much, and it was at the breaking point just seeing her in this state. But he didn’t let it show; he remained strong for her._

_“Your mother’s going to go away for a little while. I don’t know where I’m going yet or when I will be back, but you must stay strong for me okay? You must be my little soldier and protect the house until I come back. I will miss you so much, and I can’t wait until I can come home to you again. Stay strong my little warrior, I love you so much.” Her breathing had slowed considerably and her eyes were growing heavy. Alex felt the tears at the corners of his eyes, but he held them back, smiling at her instead._

_“Don’t worry mom, I’ll be a strong hero, just for you. When you come home everything will be perfect. Now get some sleep, you have a big journey ahead of you. I love you very much and can’t wait to see you again.” She smiled at him one more time before closing her eyes one last time and letting out one last breath. The room was filled with silence, Alexander never letting go of her hand as hot tears rolled down his cheeks._

_The coroner arrived the next day with a few men. They took her away to be buried with the other victims atop the small hill that overlooked the village. Alexander’s face was blank, he had no more tears to cry. He felt empty, tired, and alone. They graveside service was short and she was buried before the sun touched the waves. But he never left her side; he couldn’t. This was how he had to come to terms with things. He wouldn’t have left either, if it hadn’t been for his cousin who dragged him away. He was ready to just sit there until he withered away to nothing. But Death eluded him once again. It was like he couldn’t die, even with the odds stacked against him._

_His days were spent sitting on the floor, curled up in a ball and hidden in a corner. He didn’t sleep, refused to eat. He did nothing but sit in the corner day in and day out, never muttering a word to anyone. Even after the death of his caretaker, he never said a word, closing himself in even more. He started to hear voices._  
_{It’s your fault you know. If you had talked to me instead of being a mute I might still be alive.} the voice of his cousin taunted in an eerie laugh. {Such a stubborn brat, no wonder your mother died, she was too busy raising a bastard son like you. Maybe you should have been the one in that grave instead of her. She was too good for you.} the voice was right, he should be in the ground, not her. The voice was always there, mocking him every chance it got, belittling him more and more. He never acknowledged it, at least not enough to respond._

_{Oh Alexander, your mother is so disappointed in you. You didn’t stick to your promise of protecting the house.} his eyes snapped open at this new voice. He looked around frantically, but spotted nothing. {Is this the thanks I get for raising you for twelve years on my own? I worked so hard to keep us alive and this is how you repay me?} Alex covered his ears as tight as he could but it blocked out nothing they were saying. {You are a useless waste of space, if it weren’t for you being born I wouldn’t have had to worry about a thing. It was because of you I couldn’t provide for myself. I had to live off the scraps!}_

_Tears streamed down his face and he sobbed for the first time since his mother’s death. She was right, it was all his fault. He’s the reason she’s dead. He shouldn’t have been born. He shouldn’t be sitting here right now. None of this should have happened._

_Darkness was creeping in around him at a steady pace. The darker his thoughts got, the quicker it moved. He began to sink. It lapped at his ankles clawing at his pant legs as it pulled him in deeper. Waves of darkness rose and dragged him under into its depths. Alex gasped for breath, struggling to get back to the surface, but to no avail. He only seemed to sink faster, falling farther and farther to where no light could reach. His vision was fading, he was being consumed and no one around to save him. He heartbeat was slowing down. He closed his eyes and let everything go. This was it, this was where his road ended. And he was ready._

_“Alex, what are you doing? I still need you…”_

Alex flew up to a sitting position, gasping for air. His breaths were short and his heart was pounding so rapidly, he could hear the blood pounding through his veins. His chest felt as if someone was stabbing him repeatedly, as he continued to struggle for breath. That voice in his dream; who had called out to him? It was a voice all too familiar to him, yet he couldn’t place it. They still needed him. No one had needed him in years, yet this one voice pulled him out from the dark abyss he constantly found himself in. As his thoughts ran, his came down from his panic and sat there in silence

The crack of thunder and the bright flash of lightening outside pulled him from that alluring voice he repeated in his mind. How had he not realized that there was a major storm raging outside? He chalked it up to the mild panic attack and he sighed, running his fingers through his hair, pulling them from his sweat soaked forehead. Every night, the same dream. His mother’s death, the voices in his head, and drowning in the abyss. But that voice… why did it suddenly show up this time? Did it have any significance? He wouldn’t know unless it happened again and again. But if it just showed up now, there’s no guarantee it would be there to save him again.

A loud knock on the door alerted Alex and his brows furrowed. Who would be out in this storm at such a late hour? He pushed the thought aside and hurried down the stairs. If they were at someone’s door, something must have been wrong. Maybe their car got a flat or wouldn’t start. Either way Alex would help them. It wouldn’t be humane to leave them out in the street. When he reached the bottom stair, he flicked on the outside light and opened the door.

The stranger looked up at him, and Alex swore his heart stopped for a moment. Ocean blue orbs stared back at him, only obscured by dark, soaked ringlets caught in the breeze. Chapped, blue tinged lips gave a relieved smiled and those eyes shined with unshed tears.

“Alex… it’s really you.” Whispered a gentle raspy voice. Alex opened his mouth to respond but was at a loss for words. Except one.

“John…”


End file.
